Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
