Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
