lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
