So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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