dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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