Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
