Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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