so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Even my vagina gasped.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
