I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You're like the curious george of whores
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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