After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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