That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just found puke in my bra..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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