I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
