he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
