dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Come see our sink grown plant.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
