Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
