Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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