i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
