this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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