he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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