There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
