im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
