Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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