We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
