i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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