my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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