If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
