do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
