You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
