Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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