I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
