Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
