i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize