i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
