If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
