apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
