I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
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my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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