oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i dont even know how to be here
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
