there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize