Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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