The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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