I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Farmville is her only friend.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
