btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
