Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
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Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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