There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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