you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST