i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
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I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing