Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
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I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.