Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
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You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
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It's never too late to be topless.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.