yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos