You just made me feel so damn special
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
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