Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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