So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
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I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
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If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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