Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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