whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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