Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
