Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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