Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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