would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
