There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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