i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
